What was it about this movie that stood out to me? Well, let’s get the synopsis out of the way first: a guy buys this fancy box, opens it – while shirtless and surrounded by candles, of course – only to have his body ripped apart by chains and hooks. Creepy? Of course.
So a man and his second wife decide to buy his childhood home. They find evidence that his brother, who had an affair with his wife, had been there somewhat recently. (He’s the guy at the beginning who got ripped to shreds because he opened a box while surrounded by candles.
The lesson: don’t open magic boxes while surrounded by candles.) The couple are moving in the house. The father cuts his hand on a nail while moving a mattress, runs upstairs, bleeds everywhere – lots of blood, people; it is a horror movie after all – and the blood seeps between the cracks in the wood floor, partially reanimating the corpse of the ripped-to-shreds brother, whose body parts just happen to be below the wood floor.
So the wife goes upstairs later on, and this half reanimated corpse in the shadows is like “Hey, I’m Frank! We had an affair, remember? Yeah, I need more blood so I can fully reanimate so we can be together and I can give you ‘the D’ again.” I’m paraphrasing, of course, but you get the gist.
So here’s the thing: she does it! This crazy woman brings home random dudes she meets at the bar, lures them upstairs and beats them in the head with a hammer so corpse-dude can drink that blood and get his strength up. I guess maybe that’s love, but if so, it’s the bat-shit crazy kind.
So now I’m thinking that corpse-dude must have really put it on her in the bedroom back in the day. For real. Better than anyone else. Best lover in the world. Ever. He must have been because I can’t think of a sane woman who would find a creepy, bloody, skinless, bone-and-muscle shell of a man in the shadows of her house and think, “Damn, I gotta go kill some folks so we can be together!”
So yeah, later on, reanimated corpse dude kills dad, wears his skin on his newly reanimated body, tells his teenage niece (oh yeah, the father has a daughter from his first marriage) “come to daddy.” Side note: Come on, dude, she’s your niece. Stop.
So niece gets locked up in a mental hospital with the magic box. She opens it; there are some demons, more blood, she escapes, tries to trade her life for creepy reanimated uncle… the demons she summoned by opening the box (without the candle aspect) don’t believe that ol’ Franky got reanimated until they hear it from his own mouth. He gets ripped to shreds – again – and then they all try to attack the niece who figures out how to close the box, trapping the demons inside until someone had time to make some sequels.
The niece and her quintesentially-80s-boyfriend walk away. There are some fires on the ground because why not? Homeless dude picks up the box – out of the fire – and ends up being a creature that flies away with it. It’s last seen on the same table where it began. The movie comes full circle.
So the question is, ladies, what would it take for you to decide to kill so that you could be with a partially-reanimated corpse?